Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Strength in the Time of a Storm

 So many people are dealing with so much pain yet they continue to thrive, day after day, without anyone having the slightest knowledge of such.  Over the past few years I've experienced the loss of so many schoolmates.  I've also lost close friends at an early age. Three and a half years ago, my friend Sonta passed unexpectedly from a blood clot; she was only 39.  

(Sorry for the blurriness)
A year later, my coworker and friend Matt died from injuries he sustained in a car accident at the age of 34.  

(Must protect the identity of our students)
Many people are dealing with various issues in their lives. Whether it be an illness, mentally or physically, and yet they go on with their lives without anyone suspecting differently. Sometimes, I hide behind the smile that so many people have said lights up their day. But don't we all?

I kept looking at this week's prompt and the word strength continued to come to mind. I didn't know exactly what I was going to write until I learned about the passing of yet another schoolmate from breast cancer.  I had no idea she was suffering from this terrible disease that has taken away so many people from the ones they love.  I have known too many people who have lost their lives to cancer and I am blessed to say that my father is a cancer survivor. 

 So for this week's post I write about strength; Strength in the time of a storm.  And I ask that we all pay homage to everyone who is suffering yet continues to strive on. 


Thursday, May 14, 2015

Emotional Fog

For the past couple of weeks, my mind has been in a complete fog. I can't tell if I'm coming or going. There's too much over stimulation or something, but I definitely know that things just aren't right. Testing season has begun in the state of South Carolina and as a school counselor, we are responsible for preparing  the material that students will test on. Constantly looking at numbers, over and over and over... reaching, grabbing, piling, making copies, creating forms and documents (you get the picture) have caused my brain to be on OVERLOAD.  

Late nights...early mornings...everything that a body doesn't need has lead to total exhaustion. Where does the fogginess come in?

Fogginess from the lack of sleep. Fogginess that causes me to forget things. I begin to look for something and can't find it.  I pause for a moment and then realize it was right in front of me the entire time.  Numbers begin to cross, names begin to play tricks on me. Beginning to feel Overwhelmed!!!  Did I mention forgetfulness?   Received call from receptionist on Friday from my dental office. Remembered I had an appointment two days after it had occurred.   Forgot to report to my 2nd job on Wednesday...luckily that's at our after school program and was understood by my boss.  All focus has been on testing.  Family needs get neglected... this I hate the most. There are things I need to do for my children; things that require my full attention that I can only partially attend to.  Misplaced my phone; sent email out to staff; found phone hours later in the most awkward place.  Mail piling up and creating a mountainous mess on my desk at home.  Phone calls go unanswered from time to time.  The stress of everything comes through with knots and pain in my shoulders and neck.  When will this fogginess end? Not soon enough.